Ups and downs...

Well, it's been a tumultuous month, that's for sure. The lesson after my last post was a lesson from hell. Jessie wasn't coming through at all. He wasn't tracking up, he was being very resistant and we were just having a bad day. Since it was a Monday during the day Kim's husband was there (since vet clinics don't follow government holidays, thank goodness!) and he came and looked at Jessie while I was riding him. Turned out things were very bad. Their suggestion...joint injections. LOTS of them. Two in each hock and one in each stifle. To the tune of a LOT of money. It was like a punch in the stomach. The money...the fact that they needed done...everything. It was the first time it hit me. Jessie is getting old. Old. I won't be able to ride him forever. He may never be able to do dressage. He may, in reality, be in too much pain to be ridden without the injections. I was heartbroken.

Liz, another of the vets, came and watched Jessie while I rode as well. At the end of my lesson she flexed him and it was bad. It was interesting, because she did it while I was sitting on him. So when she did his right hock he was three legged lame trotting away. The left wasn't nearly so bad, and the right stifle, while noticeable, wasn't anywhere close to where the hock was. So I decided then and there that Jessie would get his injections at the end of the week. And that set forth a profound change in me. I went home and started putting models up for sale...resins, bodies, OFs. Liquidating everything that I don't absolutely love so that I can devote all of my resources to my real horse.

Jessie got his hock injections on that Friday, Liz had to practically knock him out just to prep the injection sites because of his seperation anxiety. The injections went well and we managed to hobble him across the arena back to his stall. I was going to my parents that afternoon, so C and I stopped by and saw him on Sunday, to see how he was doing. We trotted him around the indoor a little, just to watch him move. I had my first lesson on him that Tuesday. And I nearly cried. He was lame. Very off in his right hind. I was devastated. What if the injections hadn't worked? What if we were really done? What was I going to do? I went home and cried. I was so worried and heartbroken.

We left the next day for Thanksgiving at C's parents house, and I didn't ride at all the week after that because Kim was in Florida closing on a house and honestly, I was too scared to go out and risk Jessie still being lame. Plus, school got a little busy, finals are this week so things will be nice for the next three weeks. I'll have to finish my recap tomorrow, as a break from studying for Org Behavior (tonights post is a break from Statistics).